Wonderful Christmas dinner at my cousin's home with my sister and her family, my aunt, my cousins and their family. On the wall in the hallway was a photo of my sister and my cousin, their kids and partners. It was taken while they were camping one summer and I am guessing but more than ten years ago. Their boys, one of whom celebrates his seventeenth birthday today, look to be about six or maybe seven. I look intently at my sister who in this picture did not drive, she wasn't taking dance lessons, nor did she practice Yoga. Those were things that came later. But my sister has always been a soft place to rest. It is as if she exudes this inviting and welcoming energy that allows one to feel safe. Her home feels safe, her kitchen always seems clean even when it is full of dinner dishes to be washed. She is the place I have gone for reprieve from the real world. I don't believe I am the only one either.
As I looked at this photo and could see the progression of years, I realized we don't notice this passage of times readily in the day to day of living. A birthday is just another passing of twenty-four hours. And yet all those twenty-four hour periods add up to years and years add up to decades. There are more lines on my face and my skin feels a little thinner. I notice the change in the shape of my face as my tissue begins to drop. And yet there is the essence within me that does not feel this movement of time. There is the part of me that still wants to start off down the sidewalk on my own. I seem to have a curiosity that always wants to explore and try something new. To create something new. That is the essence of me that is unchanging, just as there has always been this essence of feeling safe with my pain when I am with my sister.
What about you? What is the essence of who you are, unchanged from a few lines and grey hairs ago?
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