Being the best

I am listening to a book called the "Charisma Myth." It is a "how to" have more charisma. Why am I listening to it? Because sometimes I am so focused on the outcome, I do not pay attention to the people involved and that leads to me being a fiery, intense person who feels resentful and frustrated, and that everyone dislikes. Oh, I get things done, but then I need to do it. I have known this about myself since I was president of a sorority many years ago and had to sit through an intervention where I was asked to just let others do things even if it wasn't the way I would do it.

Fast forward all these years later and I manage student staff for a climbing facility. I attempt to give them the appropriate training, make it very clear what is expected, and I attempt to give them a little autonomy and let them get the things done without too much interference from me. So when they don't do the things they are supposed to do and this is about the risk management of climbing, I find myself stewing. Why can't they just do what they are supposed to do?!?

Yesterday the real question came to me... what do they need from me to do the job right?
The answer, the motivation to do it right. And that is something I cannot give them. That is something they either have or they don't.

Then another question, "what is my motivation in it needing to be done to the level I want it done?" On a conscious level, I would argue the answer is the safety of users. On a subconscious level, I understand that I have a hunger to be the best at things I do. If I ask why being the best is important to me, that will take more self reflection.

A few years ago my aunt said, "Heather, you always had your own way of thinking about things." And this is true. I spend a lot of time motivated to do the best job. Not just a good job, the best job. No matter what I am doing. It is the thinking that motivated me to test myself in the climbing world as a coach. It is this motivation that empowered me to study Yoga when my life seemed to be falling apart, rather than to just fall apart. This spirit to always be better has served me well, as much as it has been a thorn in the side of others.

For me to navigate this more group oriented approach to being the best, or doing the best job, I just need to let go of the idea that they need to be motivated in the same way I am. Change my expectation to meet the outcome, and perhaps come at it with a little more charisma. ;)