Friday, January 10, 2014

A little faith and a lot of love

"It is said that faith can move mountains, and it does." Swami Rama

This is absolutely perfect for me to remember. When I feel that things are not as they should be, I always stop taking care of me.

Bella shouldn't be bananas when I am out during the day. I start trying to gain control and feel out of control. This leads to my own compulsive behaviors. Snacking or having a drink to relax leads to restless sleep. Restless sleep leads to rumination and stronger attachment. This leads to more challenge with meditation. It all begins to snowball. Ironically I notice I also just continue to chase her new behavior. She gets in the food cupboard, get a lock for the door; she gets into the garbage, abracadabra the stairs; she gets in my room, move furniture to block her.

Fear of more destruction. Fear of having to give her away surface. Fear of being a bad pet owner are the driving force. I keep trying to get her to succeed by giving her chances maybe she doesn't want. She is trying to tell me something with her behavior but I am not listening.

What if I consider the faithful thought that we will work this out?
Thoughts like call the trainer I worked with last fall come up. Call the vet and see what they say. Ahhhh, now I am resting in possibility and not fear. Hope.

I guess my job when I begin to ruminate is to cultivate faith first. Good to remember.

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