When things get challenging

Lately I have found it more challenging to practice. In response I reflected on why? Initially the thoughts of shifting schedules, disrupted sleep and too much merry making and poor eating came to mind. As we rolled beyond the Holidays and back to work, things have not improved, and I shifted my blame to the behavior of the dogs, who really have been disruptive this week. Now there is the broken arm and getting the staff coordinated into the new schedule at work.

But really this morning as I have pushed meditation back again, and try to use the excuse of the restless night because of the pounding wind and rain, I can see, it's not that. The thought "I should do an asana practice," floated through my mind. And it was quickly followed with "that is not going to change things." I know asana helps to cultivate stillness of mind so we can really discern truth. It is a tool. But in the eight limbs of Yoga, the Yamas (restraints) and the Niyamas (skillful actions) come before asana. AND as was so eloquently described by Greg Capitolo at the master class I attended Friday, these are more like spokes than limbs or rungs. 

The five restraints or Yamas include non harming, truthfulness, non stealing, moderation of the senses and non possessiveness. The Niyamas include self care or purification, contentment, self discipline, self study, and surrender. As I reflect on the past number of weeks, what I see is how distracting the environments I have been in have been. The TV on draws the visual and auditory senses away from the self and the inner landscape. This has had a huge affect on my state of mind. The non possessiveness has been triggered with the shopping for the Holidays and the dogs tearing things to pieces, the project of renovating has embedded me in possessiveness. On the flip side I am strongly committed to self study and yet struggle with contentment. I don't like the wind and the cold and the damp and it is winter in Nova Scotia. 

Since the spokes of the wheel of are various lengths, so too my practice rolls along a little bumpy and harshly. I notice most of us like to practice what we excel in. Believe me I am not different. But I also know after years of coaching, working on your weaknesses can only be successful if we start at an easier level and see some success. For me it is easier to walk away from a TV set then it is to practice contentment in winter. It's easier to write and round out self study through that forum than it is to cultivate the discipline to avoid my comfort foods on winter. 

So I will start with the easier things and they will give me the will and confidence and determination to work with the harder things. They will build shakti, inner strength. There is no point where we have mastered these ten elements completely. Rather these elements make up the soil in which we plant our karmic seeds and it is ever changing as a result of our actions and the actions of the environment in which we live. The quality of other practices, meditation, asana, pranayama are influenced by the quality of this soil.

Namaste ;)