This weekend I made a resolution to not allow myself to get suckered into TV in the evening anymore. Not just TV, the computer, aimlessly surfing websites. This was not the first time I made the resolution. I made this same resolve on January 1. Unfortunately, I did not successfully follow through in the three weeks since January 1. I would get home, get all the evening chores done and want to tune everything out and convince myself that one show wouldn't hurt. How could it? I even pretended I was doing something more productive with my time... knitting, while I watched, or rather listened.
But this idleness. The sitting and not tuning things out found me restless. I would get up and go to the kitchen. It wasn't long before my nightly ritual of watching the "just one show" turned into more than one show and consuming a big bowl of popcorn while I was at it. Worse yet, the compulsion began to grow to include that relaxing glass of wine.
Now you can see where this is going.
And Friday night, after a rather unfulfilling week at work, I sat down with half a bottle of wine, four episodes of a show I had already watched and big bowl of popcorn.
My body revolted. Specifically, it revolted at 2 am with becoming overly warm and uncomfortable. I awoke groggy and feeling guilty. I knew I was responsible. This Ayurveda Yoga Specialist knows that heating wine and spacey popcorn throws me completely out of balance and of course disrupts my sleep with heat and wakefulness.
After a couple of hours of stewing, journalling and eventually falling back to sleep, I awoke with a renewal of my resolve. The night time TV has to go. The night time snacking needs to end. I informed my son that every night we would now play an hour of games. Scrabble, dictionary, Trivial Pursuit. No TV, just games. I recent weeks, the arguments about getting off TV or a computer or a video game has run daily. So not only will I change my behaviour, but he will too; better for both of us.
This time will be different. I can already say that with certainty. Why? Because last night promptly after dinner, Fynn said, "what game do you want to play? It's an hour of games remember." He would barely let me get the dinner dishes washed. We ended up playing games for a few hours. We need some work with our charades.
I slept well last night. I feel so very grateful this morning. And I have reaffirmed to myself that even more than TV, my son longs for connection, we all do. And when we participate in it, the heart blossoms.