Resolve

As 2010 quickly approaches, I am thinking of what I would like to do differently, what potential goal I would like to achieve? I remember when I was climbing, I always had goals - the next route to climb, the next grade to do. I was really good at achieving goals - I could plan the right amount of physical work, when to rest and how to learn the route and climb it pretty quickly. I realize that what I was really doing was trying so hard to feel good enough. I would climb route after route so that I could be seen as strong enough, fit enough, smart enough to train people in rock climbing. I felt a great deal of gratification too - the process of getting to experience movement in such a state of flow was very exciting and gratifying.

I know I am not alone in this. Lots of people will be setting goals with the new year and many will be about feeling better about themselves. Some people will excuse themselves. I hear it all the time as a teacher; "I am not flexible enough to do Yoga." "I need to get stronger before I take a climbing lesson." People are funny. The whole point of being in the class is to learn how to get flexible and strong efficiently and safely. But no one wants to look bad or inept. We all worry about how we will be perceived. Maybe this should be my New Year's resolution. I resolve to not worry about how I look to others. In a positive statement, my resolve is to offer my best to whatever I am doing and whoever I am with.

Step two in setting a goal is to figure out how I am going to practice it and plan to practice it regularly, getting outside my comfort zone. What does offering my best mean? In Yoga in would mean to apply skillful effort to the poses; more importantly, to practice with healthy alignment and attention to my breath, drishti, and the messages from my body about my limitations. It is so easy to apply to movement for me. Notice there is an inherent element of needing to practice, there is also the attention, focus and concentration and to challenge myself in the pose.

What is my best in relationships? I love what a great teacher for me said recently, "when you don't know what to do, ask yourself 2 questions; first, is this good for me? And second, is this good for the other person?" In relationships I will begin to ask these questions - is this act, these words good for me? Does it feel good to me? And as importantly, I will ask myself, is this act kind, helpful, necessary and honest toward someone else? (I tend to talk too much, so the necessary part will be very helpful in paying closer attention to the needs of someone else). I think this second question is very helpful in really listening to what someone wants to share with me.

Third step in planning is accountability. I will not ask myself to be perfect in all my encounters with being my best. But I will ask myself to set aside 3 times a day where I will focus on being my best. I will practice really asking these questions at least three times a day in relationships. I will also keep a journal of my experience so I can see even the smallest improvements and see what works and what doesn't. Nothing like a little failure to learn from.

Now... about my over 40 yr old ass... that needs work too. Compassionate work, but work none-the-less.