I ponder the clues to my crossword puzzle; What is that word, oh... ice cream. Yes, it fits. What number is that?
What is he watching?'
Was it across or down?'
How long has he been watching shows?
86 across, Will's wife.
He is eating again. What time is it? Maybe I should start supper.
Even as I sit and write, I notice the continual movement of my dogs. Waiting for me to get up and take them out for a morning walk. Pacing. It draws me away from the story, then I can come back, only to be drawn away again.
Next week there will be 18 young people at my work for a camp. I will have instructors to work with them, but I will also be expected to assist and to be with these busy little people. My days will be full of being drawn out to new tasks and then to try to return to tasks half finished. It is just the nature of my work.
This is exhausting for me. Trying to recapture my focus takes precious energy. I am naturally an introvert, recharging my batteries through the process of self reflection and quiet study or working with only one or two people. I would exchange loud noisy places with lots of people for a quiet conversation with one other person outside under a big tree with no one in sight.
Chaos is an inevitable part of life. Yoga has taught me how to live with it. How to manage my own energy so it doesn't escape me too quickly and so I can easily focus while in the midst of the chaos. That takes practice, lots of practice. It requires asana, breath work and meditation. It requires restoration. It requires warm comforting foods. Good sleep. A bit of hibernation when I can. The only control I have is the energy I bring to meet the ups and downs of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment