When I was little, I recall many nights of trepidation-how could I across the vast expanse of 3 feet between my own bed and that of my older sisters bed? I was looking for comfort from my own thoughts. That vast expanse was a great ocean of danger with things that might grab my ankles. Many times I just jumped from one bed onto the other.
As a little girl, I believed anything was possible and I was just the one to be a part of it. As I stumbled through adolescence and my early 20's something changed and I no longer believed in all of me. I always believed in my physical potential. I could pull a bobsleigh loaded with logs across William's Lake for my Dad when I was 14 or 15 yrs old. I could pass my level 4 CRCA Instructor certification and I did. I did not however believe I was lovable enough. Surely I must need to be different, prettier, have bigger boobs. I rejected parts of me more than anyone else ever did.
Today I still believe in my physical potential. Anything is possible if I practice enough, fail and learn enough. That is not where I need to work. I need to believe that all that I am and all I can become is worthy of the greatest love and devotion, loyalty and worship. Oh... I don't mean in a narcissistic way. I mean in the way that I approach all things I do, all relationships with a sense of my own worth, fearless to offer my best and fearless of failure. Fearless of the monsters who may grab my ankles.
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