Courage

This summer while on a Yoga retreat in Colorado, it became very apparent that I still have some growing to do. As this was clearly identified, I felt my whole body resist it. I felt the tears well up into my eyes and the restriction in my abdomen. My shoulders tensed and I wanted to hide. My mind raced with thoughts of... "I am tired of growing. Haven't I done enough these past 3 years!?! I want safe and comfortable. I want to coast." And yet, even with those thoughts swirling around in my head, I knew in my heart that life has never really felt that safe or comfortable.

Rod Stryker once said, "You don't forgive someone, you practice loving them and forgiveness comes." These words rang true for me. As I reflect on my willingness to grow, it became apparent to me I will never be fearless, I can only face the things that scare me and courage will come.

Yesterday I strapped on a snowboard for the second time in over 10 yrs and went down an intermediate run at our local ski hill. I did it for me. I did it to feel that sense of adrenalin that comes with hard physical effort and the unknown outcome. I did it because it made me feel truly alive.

In 2011, I will face my challenges, one breath at a time, moment by moment, with love in my heart.