I have begun reading the secret of the Yoga sutras. As I read about learning to recognize and gradually not be attached to the variations of the mind, I am forced to notice how my mind wanders into self criticism. Yesterday looking in my body as I tried on pants and thinking with dismay how big around my thighs are and my butt looks saggy. I don my running shoes and go out with my good and dear friend Mike, all the while feeling like I am sucking air and I should be in better shape. Why is my mind on this journey of self criticism? Because it is the habit. It is my habit to look at myself with negative judgement.
And I know I am not alone. I watched a great TED talk this morning with a make-up artist who acknowledge that this is what she has been hearing for years from the people who sit in her chair. And then she said something very helpful... was it going to take being on deaths door or having cancer to make her appreciate what she was given?
Excellent reminders that I am in charge of whether I decide my thighs are too big or my butt too saggy. I am in charge of whether I choose to appreciate this 50 year old body that can still climb V4 in a matter of a few tries and still runs, weighs the same that it did in high school and enables me to teach Yoga. I will decide that I have been blessed with a petite figure probably from my Gram. I have bright blue eyes and a wide smile. And a pretty discerning mind. All in all, a pretty package.