Friday, September 16, 2011

Awkward

My mind was replaying the story of last night and generally beating me up for being socially inept. As I replayed the conversations and thought, "that probably sounded stupid," and "I really shouldn't have shared that." I realized again how I was rejecting who I am.

What if it wasn't a stupid comment? Could that also be true? Perhaps it was my best effort to express how I felt. My intention was to make a connection on a heart level. Perhaps my awkwardness, confusion, was a reflection of how uncomfortable people are really talking about how they feel. It is often challenging to really express ourselves because we try so hard to sound professional and intelligent.

I guess the trick is to sooth my awkwardness by finding contentment in just wanting to share myself with others. Leave the rest of it up to them since it's out of my hands what they do with it.

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