As I prepare for this trip to Mexico, I am reading Kundalini Anghora. The point is to prepare oneself for the awakening of Kundalini. This involves purification practices, many of which have me with a furrowed brow and saying, "really? Maybe I don't want my kundalini awakened."
Then there are the parts that are so very real and sound of truth to me. "The point of Yoga is to make every home a happy home." The guidance that seems quite relevant and attainable, is the thought of practicing one Niyama. A Niyama is a quality you wish to cultivate, such as faith, humility, honesty, spiritual study, equanimity. As I considered these options, I realized how much of my life is spent feeling envy of others. I envy my friends in loving relationships. I envy my ex-husband and his life of leisure. I envy others their fields of work. Envy blagues me on a regular basis. And when the seed of envy is watered, I become very unsteady. I strive for more, better and change. I no longer value and appreciate what is all around me, I begin to resist my life and live somewhere in the future where I imagine it will be better.
Stepping back and looking with appreciation at all that exists in my life is a helpful step toward coming back into balance. Seeing the landscape before me, I begin to embrace where I am. And yet with this reading I am also so very aware that the real intention of this practice is to be attached to none of it - the blessings or the displeasures. The intention of this practice is to simply offer one's self with no measure, no judgment. To be motivated from with in to express oneself fully, rather than being motivated from with out.
Seems I am still in the early stages. Whew, takes the pressure off. ;)
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