The sun shone through the clouds creating windows of bright orange and red light across the granite rocks. Fynn and Tour run ahead. I am taking my time, contemplating what V7 I would want to climb. Why am I resisting climbing something here in NS? There is that one at Chebucto, close to home, not really needing a spotter. Who could I ask to be a climbing partner? No, spotter? What is this tension about? Hmmm.... Is that the problem with climbing, the resistance? Is it that I do not want to have to trust anyone? YES.
Makes sense, everyone I have trusted as a climbing partner has let me down. Whew.... well, everyone I have trusted and been intimately involved with. Huh... Didn't see that coming.
Doing V7 just got harder.
Definitely afraid to trust people. Wait. My heart speaks, urging me to see all that I have gained from that trust and then broken trust. All the climbing adventures, writing, training, five years of travel, a marriage, a child, so many amazing friends. All possible because I allowed myself to trust. And with the broken trust, I picked myself up and grew even more. I learned to trust my own capacity to love, to be open, in the face of great loss.
Would I still want this goal if nothing but the pure act of climbing existed?
Climbing just two people, sunshine, cool rock, no responsibilities, distractions. Just a challenge, an adventure to explore. Just moving, sharing how to make the body fit the sequence.
So really, the goal is to share a project with a friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment