Yesterday I wanted to throw my hands up in the air. It seems that there are so many messages coming my way and to live by them, I need to get really uncomfortable. I don't want to get uncomfortable. I feel I deserve a little security and safety. But even as I say that, I know there is no such thing. We cannot ever protect ourselves from pain and suffering for they are our own creation, the result of resisting what is true. It is not the events of our lives that make us angry, upset or sad; it is our thinking that it should not have happened.
It is not my mom's illness that is making me upset. It is my desire for her not to be ill. My fear of life without my mom in it. I count on my strong and nurturing mom. Who will love me like that if my mom dies?
This is where faith comes in... faith is believing that whatever happens is what should happen.
Yep, my suffering is me making it all about me. And it really is not about me at all. How on earth could I know what should happen next?!? I only know what I want to happen and what I don't want to happen. Me Me Me.
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