This week there was the love and joy of being a mother and yogi. This identity intruded upon by my responsibilities to the 10 instructors I guide, the 50 children they teach, the office mates who support and request things from me, the regular climbers using the gym, the parents of these kids, the social workers, the Spell Read folks we are coordinating it all with and next weeks crowd wanting changes, new potential folks in camps later this summer, the bus company who transports these folks to outdoor sites. The energy in thinking of my 'to do's' around the house, at work, for my health.
All of these forces drawing on me for guidance or information, support. And there are the few who give it back... the child who will sit still with me for a moment and tell me about his/her success. The child who runs to me to say "watch me!" The parent who tells me the kids are having an amazing time. My son who follows me through all of this, helping where he can, sometimes mothering me. The pay check which enables the home, the car, the food.
Life seems to be an exchange of energy out toward others and receiving back in. I have noticed in my practice lately, just a sitting and receiving. It is lovely. More interestingly I have noticed how much energy just goes toward the things that draw energy away and how little attention is paid to the energy in, unless it is first judged as positive. Even in the exchange of someone pouring their troubles on me, I could see their trust in me, their openness toward me, their sense that I would listen. That is an offering of one's energy too. The person who complain's, looking to find support from me... seeing me as a potential ally, also believing in my strength and openness.
Perhaps this is the real key to happiness; being able to receive even from the child with defiant eyes, telling you they just want to go home. Finding the Divine shakti in all of it.
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