The gymnasium style room is cool, filled with male energy. I stand there - all 63 inches of me - alone with an inclination to cross my arms across my chest. I begin trying to draw out the fellow to my right by making him laugh -- at me and my inexperience.
Why do boys like this? They seem to like rough physical contact. They seem to like strict discipline.
These coaches do not want parents in the dressing room - they want control of the team's attention. Boys like control of situations so they can throw their bodies into challenge. I recently was reading that boys don't just learn to ride a bike, they want to make it jump off a ramp - certainly true with my son. And I have to say, I have witnessed many more males skip the last clip and take the whipper just for the fun of it.
As I am writing this blog this morning and wondering where I am going with it, what comes to mind is that I am drawing comparison of these men and me as a woman. I really don't want to be the same kind of coach these guys want to be. I don't want to throw myself off jumps on a snowboard like Nick does with Fynn. I want to help him put together his lacrosse net, even though I am not excited to stand in it and have Fynn take shots on me. I want to help him get his homework done or listen as he reads to me. I do want to love Fynn with all my heart and be open to whoever he becomes.
My real struggle is that I wonder if that will be enough.
Heather,
ReplyDeleteIf it is sincere, it will be enough. In this case, it's not so much the 'what' as it is the 100% being there in the moment.
Love ya.
- Carla