Spring Cleaning

The local CBC radio program is running a little contest for folks who need assistance decluttering their homes. As I listen to people discuss the amount of clutter and disorganization they are suffering from, I begin to think, "they just have too much stuff."
"I don't have too much stuff."
"Ha!" my mind retorts, "you have too much in your mind."

And I know it is true. Thoughts bounce between the rather serious work incidents this week, the upcoming events I've committed myself to, the dogs and their well-being, the commitments I am making just seem to never end.

All week I have been trying to coach myself into approaching all actions with love, even the little ones. And yet, I find myself just wanting to sit in a chair in front of the fire and watch TV while snacking on my vata/pitta deranging treats. And I do. I am getting through some pretty full days and my new home project and then collapsing into mindlessness.

I get it. I understand easy it is to hoard things. I don't hoard stuff, I hoard stuff to do. I have a very strong vikalpa around doing means I am worth loving. I pack my life full of ways of trying to be helpful to others. I find myself suddenly up to teaching four Yoga classes a week, doing my 9-5 pm work, adding in a few climbing work opportunities and working on the board of a non profit. Ironically, one of the things I need to do is prepare for an upcoming training with my teacher and I need to work with giving up a not so healthy habit and working with vikalpa. I've added entertaining folks at my home and doing a little kitchen upgrade project for good measure.

I wake up every morning saying I will take care of myself and because I am continually moving through a day packed with commitments, I don't. I collapse into a mindlessness relationship with my computer instead.

So... a new resolve. I feel clutter free. I am approaching the things in my life with joy and anticipation, love. Now... the bad habit...computer time. Ahhhh...yes, computer time.