Yesterday I shared an amazing evening with a friend. We shared our stories. We even acknowledged that it was all stories. We filled the space between us with the love and understanding that at all times, there is really nothing ever wrong or needing to be different. Through our conversation, what I became very aware of was the many ways in which I have used my body to speak for me.
I have used it in relationships as a means of bartering.
When I rock climbed, it was my body expressing it self with intensity and the fire of my desire having a way to burn.
Running cross country it was a force propelling me toward better, faster, stronger.
Now I see the ages effect on my skin, my tissues, muscles. I am not as inspired to be intense and push myself physically. I still get excited by the emotions conjured by climbing videos, but even then it is emotion brought on by the challenge. Perhaps there have been too many for me to feel empowered by them now.
When I practice now, rather than a train driving me forward, I feel myself settle into the space the body guides me into. I feel a soft expansion and calm. For me, that is when I know I am practicing Yoga, not stretching or doing calisthenics. The breath leads me and I surrender.
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