A beautiful Saturday morning and I am munching on my toast and sipping coffee. Experiencing guilt for not mindfully eating. Fynn is out so I am also indulging in the quiet and listening to one of my educational audiobooks. Brene Brown is talking about play. I am quite surprised as she says, "the opposite of play is depression." Play enables us to problem solve, innovate, be happy and smart.
I type in those four letters. It makes sense. Unless I am doing something productive - reading a book on spirituality, practicing, working or doing something for my son, I feel like I am not doing enough. And I always feel disheartened, perhaps depressed. Two friends confided the exact same thing to me last night. As one talked, I asked him what he dreams about doing. He said, "travel." I asked, "when are you going to travel, where?" He didn't answer. I pressed him. He didn't really have a plan, just an idea.
I reminisced on how we had dreams as we grew up; dreams for our careers, dreams for family dreams for homes. Not ideas, but full on dreams with feeling and pictures in our heads, not to mention the belief it would happen. Now I don't really have dreams, just ideas, no strong pictures. It's too crowded with doubt. I am so busy being productive, there is very little time for dreaming.
Maybe, just maybe, if I could stop my productivity conveyer belt, and play a little, I could once again open up to some dreams. Maybe if my Yoga practice wasn't about being a better version of me, but about joyful resting in myself, my heart would open and I could dream. You know, I do have an idea, maybe I will play it out with pictures and see what happens. What are you dreaming?
I constantly dream and am filled with pictures. I realize that I have the ability and means to follow those dreams; yet I find myself held back. And I realize its myself holding me back. I need to find the strength to follow those dreams before its too late.
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