Tonight I received an award. I was recognized for my contribution to the climbing community. One part of me was stunned and one part was hurt. There were many who have been involved to a lesser degree than I have for less time. I wondered about why I wasn't good enough to receive an award sooner. I beat myself up. 'It's my intensity. It's because I have such high standards I hold people to. It's because I am a woman.' Lot's to build a story around.
The truth. I was recognized for my contributions.
But then... I realized my contributions have always been for those who are other than those recognizing me. I have worked hard at engaging the youth. I have not been as connected to the adults. I am deeper than the grades. I am about the process. The growth.
Bullshit.
I am about the feeling good for teaching people and I get more thanks from kids than adults because the parents can afford to pay.
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